It can be easy to fall into a routine in a marriage. The day-to-day stress and to-do lists start to take over until you wake up one day and realize that your spouse feels like your roommate. It can be frustrating and overwhelming. How do you get that connection back? The amazing thing is that it doesn’t take a lot to prevent the roommate slug. Today we are going to share with you four practices you can do daily to prevent roommate marriages.

I’ve always studied relationships and connection. We are always trying new things in our relationship and have tested a lot of the relationship trends. Today I will share with you five of the most game-changing practices in our relationship.

Here are the things that we have incorporated as non-negotiables in our relationship. No matter what we have going on or how busy we get, we always prioritize these things. We have found them to be some of the most important practices in our relationship. 

These five things are easy to do and can be incorporated into the most hectic schedules. If you start practicing them, you will begin to feel much more connected and in love with your partner. You will rekindle the romance and intimacy and prevent feeling like you are roommates.

Daily Check-Ins

Every day, no matter what set aside at least ten minutes to have a daily check-in where you dig deeper into conversation with your partner. During this daily practice, do not talk about the routine things in life like chores or your day jobs. If you have children, this is also a time when you don’t discuss your kids. During this time, your relationship is the priority. 

Ask each other questions that go beyond the surface level and day-to-day routine.  I cannot believe the difference this made in our relationship. If you only pick one routine to try and implement from this list, this would be the one to do. 

If you work opposite schedules, try doing this over the phone during your lunch breaks or snag ten minutes when you are both home.

 During this check-in, make sure you rid yourself of distractions and completely focus on your partner. All of your actions during this check-in time should say to them “You are my only priority right now”.

Daily Physical Affection

Have you noticed that when you start to slide into your daily routine, physical affection with your partner goes out the window? The second practice that will make a significant difference in your relationship is giving each other spontaneous, daily physical affection.

Physical affection creates bonding chemicals in your brain and releases dopamine, our happiness hormone. It also tells your brain “This person isn’t my roommate, they are the love of my life.” How many people kiss and caress their roommates? Not many!

Many times physical affection is the little things: holding hands when you go for a walk, snuggling while watching a movie, and surprising each other with backrubs when one of you is working on something. It is easy to lose those little moments if you don’t intentionally incorporate them. 

Kiss and touch your partner daily. Work on practicing small, surprise touches throughout the day. This will make you feel so much more connected in your day-to-day routine. 

Addressing Conflict Right Away

Address conflicts with your partner right away. No matter how busy you are in this season, you need to prioritize conflict resolution. Make time to talk things out with your partner. Do not push things off and let it simmer. Stuffiing feelings and conflicts will not make them go away, instead they will reach a boiling point. A little thing will grow into a big thing. Bitterness and resentment will form. After being pushed aside for so long, a conflict will eventually explode. The results are never pretty. When it reaches this point, usually a conflict is done in a way that is toxic and hurtful.

When you have a conflict, make sure it is fully resolved and repaired. Otheriwse it will become a reoccuring fight.

Unresolved conflicts destroy connection and intimacy. To prevent feeling like roommates, make it a practice in your routine to discuss conflicts and resolve them in a healthy way.

Pursuit of Partner

I talk about pursuing your partner a lot because it makes such a big difference in keeping romance alive. In order for romance to continue after years of being together, you have to continue to pursue your partner. Pursue their heart and treasure it.

Many couples stop pursuing their partner after they have been together for several years. I am a firm believer that pursuing your partner should never stop. People change over the years, and you will want to continue to get to know your partner. Continue to study them and learn about them. Learn what makes them feel loved and do those things for them. Take time to listen to them. Do things to make them feel special and show them how much you love them.

Pursuing each other will keep your romance and connection alive. Pursuit creates those sparks you felt at the beginning of your relationship. It makes you feel loved and cherished. Each week, try to think of one thing you can do to pursue your partner. Is it to ask them about their dreams? How about planning a date night? Is it to surprise them with their favorite treat?

Pursuing each other has made a huge impact in my relationship. I have seen it make such a difference for so many couples. If you are looking for help pursuing your partner, check out our instagram ,https://www.instagram.com/choosetoloveyou.cayla/ .We post frequently on pursuit and things you can do for your partner or ask your partner to continue to win their heart.

Try incorporating these four practices daily to prevent the feeling of a roommate marriage.